-A good tune. The tune should pass ‘The Old Grey Whistle Test”. This term originates from film studios in the 1920s. A composer noticed one of the elderly janitors (known as ‘The Old Grey’) was whistling the tune he had recently composed. He maintained that it must be a good tune, as it had passed this most demanding test. ‘Old Grey Whistle Test was later used as the name of a BBC TV music show in about 1980.

-Good lyrics - I know we’ve made this point before, but it doesn’t do any harm to repeat:

Songs with boring lyrics like:

Hey babe, I think you’re great
I think we should have a date

will probably be rejected, but if they go on:

If a sticky date’s no good
we could eat some other fruit

might just tickle a referee’s sense of humour

A Samizdat record will show competent musicianship, but will be about the ‘song’ not rely on technical wizardry. As a general – not rigid – rule, our songs will be played by human musicians. We are not against technology, but have never yet heard a drum machine or sequencer that that stirs our soul, or makes us want to dance. Also various Samizdat personnel are in the Musicians Union. But if you can program your gadgets so well that you fool us, then...OK. But don’t use a drum machine simply because you can’t be bothered to get a drummer.

The songs can be on any subject, but they do have to say something. They can be funny, serious, passionate and from the heart.